Wishing
by Kagirinaku
Summary: ...And she clung to this notion with everything she had left. Desperate to maintain some part of herself, that she felt was quickly escaping her grasp. But it was useless, in the end she would lose herself.


I wish it all away...  
  
As the gloomy darkness of night settled to the earth, a girl sat-waiting patiently on a wooden bench. Waiting for what, she did not know. No one ever knows what awaits them, all she knew was that she needed to wait. She understood she had to wait. If she didn't, she wouldn't know what to do with herself. Her world was falling apart and the only piece that made sense any more was this bench, was this sense of needing to wait. And she clung to this notion with everything she had left. Desperate to maintain some part of herself, that she felt was quickly escaping her grasp. But it was useless, in the end she would lose herself.  
  
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"Hermione."  
  
The woman in question slowly raised tired eyes to stare into the green eyes of one her best friends.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
The woman cocked her head to side as if the question didn't fully register. But the woman cracked half a smile as if to reassure her friend-it only made him worry more.  
  
"You know..you can talk to me...to Ron...to someone.."  
  
The smile slowly faded as she turned her head away.  
  
"You can't go on like this Hermione! I don't know what's wrong. But we can't help if you won't talk to us! It's like, it's like your fading away from us Hermione. Ever so slowly, fading away..."  
  
The woman turned her head slowly to meet the green eyes once again and it almost seem as if she was going to speak, but instead stared into the concerned eyes of her friend. A good friend. A right friend. She was fading away, but no amount of talking would change that. And lately she just couldn't find the strength to talk. What use was talking anyway?  
  
"Hermione! Please! Say something, do something! Please!" The man grasped Hermione by the shoulders, shaking her, hoping to some how shake the words from her mouth. To some how make her real again. But in the end it was like shaking a rag-doll.  
  
The man backed away, not believeing this mockery of a human was once one of his bestfriends.  
  
"Hermione..." The man swiftly turned and fled the room, not being able to be near her any longer.  
  
--It's for the best...  
  
At least she thought so. Talking to them would be too hard. To face to world would be too hard. To face herself would be too hard. I didn't want any of this...  
  
--But you wished it all away...  
  
I didn't mean to wish it all away, not like this. I didn't want it to be like this...  
  
--Nobody wants it to be like this...  
  
Then why is it like this? Why can't things be normal again? Why can't I see myself any more?  
  
--Because you don't want to...  
  
But I do! I want so much-  
  
--You want too much!  
  
Is to live too much to want?  
  
--Sometimes, yes.  
  
Then all I have is to wait. It's the only thing left for me.  
  
--Yes, it is.  
  
The woman weakly stood and, using the wall by her side for support, slowly made her way out the door and out of her loved ones' lives forever.  
  
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The woman brushed her fingers over the wooden bench. This was where it all started, and this was where it would end. She would complete a full circle, finally meeting its end-her end.  
  
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"Hermione Granger."  
  
"Doctor."  
  
Hermione looked into the eyes of her messenger, hoping the news would be good, and not the bad that she felt weighing her heart down.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
Hermione glanced away for a moment before returning her teary eyes to the doctor.  
  
"Explain."  
  
The graying doctor heaved a big sigh. He had been Hermione's doctor since she was born, and was a close friend of the family's. Which is why he wanted to meet with Hermione in the park, a less formal place to discharge such bad news to the girl.  
  
"It's called Dementia. It's not really a disease per say, just a-condition."  
  
"A condition? Dementia? But I'm too young.."  
  
"That's what I thought, but everything points to it."  
  
"Like...like what?"  
  
"Like short-term memory-  
  
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"Where's Ginny Ron? I can't seem to find her any where! There's a sale today, and I was hoping to go shopping with her."  
  
"Uh Hermione, Ginny is on her honey moon...You know, Harry and her got married yesterday?"  
  
"Yesterday, married?"  
  
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Difficulty doing familiar activities-  
  
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"What are you doing Hermione?"  
  
"What does it look like I'm doing?!"  
  
"I'm not sure, that's why I'm asking."  
  
"Ron! I'm playing chess with you. You know like we always do Friday nights."  
  
"But Hermione, we don't physically move the pieces and we can't move them backwards!"  
  
"Oh, I guess I didn't remember that.."  
  
"You've played this game a million times before, don't you know how to play?!"  
  
"I'm not sure anymore, this is too difficult, let's do something else?"  
  
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Language deterioration-  
  
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"What did you say Hermione?"  
  
"Weren't you listening Ginny? I said, let's go-we don't have much time before the game starts."  
  
"I was listening, you were just talking incoherently!"  
  
"Incah-err whatever! I was talking just fine!"  
  
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Disorientation to time and place-  
  
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"Wake up Ron! Wake up! We must hurry! I don't know what is wrong with me, but I slept in and apparently so have you! Hurry Ron!"  
  
"Wha-? Hermione? it's 7 in the morning. You know I don't like to be awakened before noon."  
  
"Ron! Hurry! We're going to be late!"  
  
"Hurry? Late? For what?"  
  
"Potions of course! Professor Snape will give us both detentions if we're late! And I don't want anything more ruining my chances for head girl next year!"  
  
"Potions, head girl? Hermione! We're out of school! We have been for five years now! And you were Head Girl your seventh year!"  
  
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-anxiety-hallucinations, which include hearing, seeing, feeling, and smelling things that do not exist-delusions, or believing things that are not true-  
  
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MMMMmmmm is that pancakes? I didn't know Ginny could make pancakes....  
  
"Gin, where's the pancakes? They smell real good!"  
  
"Herm, I didn't make pancakes."  
  
"Oh? Then Ron-or Harry maybe?"  
  
"Ron's still asleep, and you know Harry's not allowed to cook anymore, not since he almost burned down the kitchen a couple of weeks ago!"  
  
"Then who has pancakes? They smell so delicious!"  
  
"We don't have pancakes Hermione. We didn't make any and we don't have any."  
  
"But I smell them!"  
  
"I don't smell them"  
  
But I could swear I smell pancakes...  
  
--You do smell them...  
  
Then why aren't there any?  
  
--Because she lies...  
  
Lies? Ginny? She wouldn't lie to me, especially if it's something stupid like this.  
  
--Then why do you smell pancakes?  
  
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Personality changes, including agitation, irritablility, paranoia, and hostility-  
  
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"Oh Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tre-"  
  
"Stop that annoying singing! My goodness! You would think there was something to be cheery about the way you three go on!"  
  
"Hermione, of course we're cheery! It's Christmas!" Ginny exclaimed.  
  
"Christmas! Ha! It's not Christmas!"  
  
"Of course it is. It's December 25. Look to the calender if your still not convinced!" Ron retorted.  
  
Hermione huffed as she crossed the room to the wizarding calender that stated boldy in big green and red lettering 'DECEMBER 25, HAPPY CHRISTMAS!'. Hermione was overcome with anger and agitation that she was wrong. She grasped the calender firmly and heaved it across the room with a yell-the calender crashing into the opposite wall. Quickly walking over to it, she kicked it again, but before more damage could be done, she was being held back by two sets of male arms.  
  
"Hermione! What is wrong with you!?"  
  
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A loss of interest in activities that were previously pleas-"  
  
"Shut up! Please, just shut up!" The tears now freely fell from her eyes as she shut them tightly. Trying to block out all that he said and how true it sounded. The Doctor wrapped her up is a crushing embrace, whispering false reassurances in her ear.  
  
What was wrong with her indeed, she now knew, but she wouldn't say a word. It would be too hard to say! How would you be able to say it when even she herself couldn't believe this was happening! Her, Hermione Granger-Miss Know-It-All, has dementia? It was simply perposterous, it was simply-  
  
--Reality...  
  
Oh you shut up! I've had enough from you! I've had enough of everything! I wish it all away!  
  
--Your wish will be granted.  
  
What?  
  
........  
  
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--And now it is the end.  
  
Yes.  
  
--All will be over soon.  
  
Yes.  
  
--You won't be aware of anything.  
  
I know.  
  
--Soon, everything will have gone away, just as you have wished.  
  
I know.  
  
--Are you ready?  
  
No, but then again yes. I guess I just wish--  
  
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Hermione Granger, The world grieves her loss. For a girl who was lost to herself.  
  
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Instead of becoming a dependent and burden for her family and friends. Hermione did one last thing before her whole world escaped her grasp. Her patient waiting has come to an end.  
  
*Bang*  
  
A gun shot that could be heard around the world that night echoed forever in the minds of those who loved Hermione Granger whose hand still tightly held onto the cold metal of her salvation.  
  
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Author's Note: Okay this is basically my first fanfiction, at least the first one I'm posting. I know that it isn't the best (especially since I go from she to I, and that's a no-no in grammar and all that, but...  
  
I have researched a bit on Dementia to do this story. If I have anything wrong, please tell me, because fortunately I have yet to have a relative of mine go through this. So I really don't know if I interpreted what I read right. So please forgive me for any mistakes!  
  
I hope you have enjoyed the story and please review with constructive criticism, thank you!  
  
I know it may not seem like it, but there is a hint of Ron/Hermione in there. 


End file.
